Does coffee count as breakfast?

I’ve heard time and time again that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. If you want to lose weight eat breakfast, if you want to have a better day eat breakfast, if you want to raise an army of the dead to do your bidding and take over the world… you got it, find the necrinomicon. Oh, but eat some breakfast before you begin your search.

Thing is, does breakfast actually need to be food? I wake up and have 2 cups of coffee with cream. I’d say my coffees have at least 100 calories each. So 200 calories in liquid. Is that any different than waking up and having a protein shake or food replacement drink? I always figured it was to do with getting your metabolism started but I suspect anything you put in your body would do that. So, do I actually need to “eat” a breakfast, or does my coffee count as breakfast?

Btw I am asking because I really don’t like breakfast. I love breakfast foods, just not eating early in the morning.

Atomic Habits in Action

In case you were curious why I’ve been posting more lately, it’s due to the way I interact with this site. Since I used to believe that this was hallowed ground for important long form dissertations on important topics I only used my laptop, and laptops, are for work… silly right?

When I was recently listening to the Art of Manliness podcast about habits, one of the tips for forming a habit was to make it easier to perform. For example, if you want to floss more, leave the floss out next to your toothpaste. Simple. I’ve applied that here and put the word press app on my phone. I always have my phone (I’m typing this on my phone right now) so might as well use what’s easy.

The small downside to this will inevitably be a bevy of typos, but at least I’m exercising my writing more than ever now (even if it is with just my thumbs.) I figure that I probably type a novel a week in text messages so why not do the same in this space? That being said, if you see a typo, blame autocorrect.

I am going to pick up that Atomic Habits book at some point and see what wisdom I can squeeze out of it but in the meantime if you want to hear the podcast I’ve linked to it below. It’s really good.

Here’s the link to that Art of Manliness podcast.

My journey to being a fat guy

When I was young and single I decided it was time to get my ass in shape and find someone to share my life with. That getting in shape part didn’t happen but I did lose some weight and look better. That was 15 years ago and since then I’ve put on about 50lbs. Funny what a family and work can do.

Anyway, much like many other fat bearded 40year old men I am going to start a personal adventure of getting back to my marriage weight.

When I got married I was 220lbs and after 15 years of steady 3.33lbs of unlost holiday weight I am currently 270lbs. My goal is to be back to 220 by the time I die… or maybe 2020. 50lbs, one year… sure why not.

I’ve been doing this all wrong

This whole time I’ve been under the assumption that I can only put long form “important” things here. I kept telling myself “this isn’t twitter boy, you gotsa write meaningful things in this space!” Well, fuck that, I’m going to start putting everything here, all the same garbage I litter social media with on a daily basis, pics, dumb thoughts, etc. So basically, sorry in advance.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Sleep In

With the recent round of daylight savings time ending I found myself with a bit of a problem. I wake up at 5:30am naturally, but with the time change I was now getting up at 4:30am… that’s really early. Too early. I mean, I enjoy some quiet time in the morning but no one needs quite that much. This new 4:30 wake up time was seriously effecting my work and family time as I was exhausted earlier in the day and felt behind on sleep. On top of this I have a total inability to sleep in so even on weekends I was still getting up too early.

As a bit of back story I spent my summers in high school working on a farm. Often times in the summer I’d be getting up at 3:30 or 4am in order to get to work on time. This was stressful since I was usually doing this on my own. The stress of being late must have seeped into my subconscious because I never seemed able to shake it after all those summers. Nowadays I do set an alarm, but often times I am up well before it goes off. For example if I set my alarm for 6:30am I’m usually up at 5:30 checking the time, then I doze till a few minutes before my alarm goes off. All this being said this weekend I managed to hack my body to sleep in until 8am and here’s how I managed to pull that off.

Quite simply, I removed the alarm clock from my bedside table. I had no idea how often I woke up in the night to check the time. With my alarm clock gone, I did have an initial shot of panic about what time it was, but I just told myself that it wasn’t time to get up. I suspect my subconscious mind was stressing over not being able to sleep in, even though I know I need that extra sleep. If I woke up at 5:30 I’d start doing the math of how much I slept, how much more I wish I could sleep and then I’d start checking the clock and getting annoyed that I was up at such an early hour. Then, with all this brain activity I was wide awake. By removing the clock I deprived my mind of that ability to measure my sleep.

Another unexpected benefit of removing my clock is that my bedroom is actually a touch darker now as well. I never noticed that the glow of my alarm clock was right in my face, like a glowing billboard on a dark street. This can’t have been helpful.

I am not sure if I should put back my alarm clock during the work week so I think i’ll do a little experiment and see what happens if I don’t. I always use my iPhone alarm anyway so my alarm clock is superfluous anyway. It’s just a matter of how much do I trust my phone to wake me up? I guess I’ll see what happens and report back at some point with that and a few other tips I’ll try to get a better night sleep.

On a final note, as a bit of irony, this post was really difficult to write because normally I am up a few hours before my family giving my lots of quiet time to think… this morning because I slept in I had to put on my headphones to drown out of the distractions. Funny that I chose this morning to start writing again 🙂

Earth for Sale

I wrote this children’s story quite a few years ago. When I was a kid I had a bad case of the “greedy gimmies” and my parents were far to willing to indulge, which is where this story was born. 

I’d like to get this story illustrated someday but for the time being I’m happy to share it as is. Read it to your kids at bedtime some night. I hope they enjoy it. 

Earth for Sale

by Adam Kantor

One day while Dan was out shopping with his parents he saw the greatest, most amazing, most spectacular remote controlled spaceship that he had ever seen, and he knew he had to have it.

“MOM! Can you get me this spaceship? PLEEEEASE!” Dan asked. “Sweetie, that spaceship costs forty dollars and you already have so many spaceships. I don’t think you need any more.” 

He turned to his Dad “DAD! Can you get me this spaceship? PLEEEEASE!” 

“Sorry buddy, you know we love you very much, but your Mom’s right, you already have a lot of spaceships at home.”

“But Dad, I really need THIS spaceship!” Dan protested. “If you buy me this I’ll never ask for another one EVER again!” he promised. “You said that the last time” his Mom said. “And the time before that” his Dad added. “Maybe you’ll get it for your birthday.” 

Dan reminded his Mom and Dad every chance he could about the spaceship and after about a week his Mom said, “Sweetie, you have so much stuff. Toys aren’t free, when you’re making your own money you’ll understand. 

“Mom, how do you make money?”

“Well, honey, your father and I earn money working at our jobs.” 

“How do you get a job?” he asked. Dan’s Mom smiled and told him all about it.

In the following days Dan tried to get a job as a bus driver, a dragon trainer, a fireman, a superhero, a candy taster, a construction worker, a racecar driver, and an astronaut. In every case he was either not qualified to do the job or the job that he wanted didn’t really exist.

“How am I supposed to earn money if nobody will give me a job?” Dan yelled as he threw his space helmet on top of his superhero costume. “You could always have a yard sale.” Dan’s brother said as he walked by his room.

Dan liked his brother’s idea. The next morning he used his crayons to make a sign. Then he moved a small table from the garage to the end of the driveway and hung up his sign, it read “DAN’S STORE”.

Dan wandered around the house and picked up his Mom’s makeup, hair supplies, and perfume bottles and took it outside to his table. He cupped his hands around his mouth and began shouting “Welcome to Dan’s beauty store! We have everything you need to look as pretty as my Mom!” 

When his Mom saw all her things on the table she was very upset, “Daniel, what do you think you’re doing? You can’t sell things that don’t belong to you! Take all my things and put them back right now!” 

After Dan put all her things away he realized that his Mom was angry because he was trying to sell things that she used all the time. He needed to find something to sell that no one ever used. He walked out to the garage and gathered up his Dad’s tools and set them up on his table, cupped his hands to his mouth, and began shouting “Welcome to Dan’s tool store!” 

When his Dad saw all his tools on the table he was also very upset. “Daniel, what do you think you’re doing? You can’t sell things that don’t belong to you! Take all my tools and put them back right now!”

While Dan was having a timeout in his room he played with his spaceships and tried to think of something else that he could sell. Then he had an idea. The next morning he didn’t need to setup the table, or make a sign. He cupped his hands to his mouth and started shouting “EARTH FOR SALE, EARTH FOR SALE.”

A few neighbors stopped by and he told them his favorite things about the Earth. Like how much he loved the playground at his school, and how great cookies are, and how much fun it is to ride his bike really fast. Everyone listened to him, a few people told him how cute he was, and his parents wished him good luck selling the Earth. Nobody bought the Earth from him though.

It was getting late and Dan’s Mom had already reminded him twice that it was time to come inside. Dan was walking toward his front door when two short strange looking greenish skinned people approached him. Both of them were wearing baseball caps and sunglasses.

“How much are you selling the Earth for?” one of them asked. 

“Forty money” Dan replied. 

“Do you mean dollars?” 

“Um, yes, that’s what I mean. Forty dollars.” Dan said.

“Are you sure you can sell the Earth to me for forty dollars?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Dan said.

“Well that’s good enough for me” the strange looking person said and handed Dan a stack of pink triangles with the picture of an octopus on them. Dan looked at the stack and asked “what kind of money is this?” The strange looking person replied “it’s foreign, but don’t worry you’ll be able to trade it in tomorrow.”

Dan said goodnight to the two strangers and they walked off down the street, tentacles dragging behind them. He could hardly wait to tell his parents about what had happened but before he could they said it was time for bed.

When Dan got down to breakfast his family was too busy watching TV to listen to him tell his story about the night before. When he tried to get everyone’s attention they said “Shhhh! can’t you see that aliens have landed on Earth!” 

Dan looked at the TV and saw space ships as large as his school flying over the city looking for places to land. There were spaceships landing on football fields, baseball diamonds, and in parking lots. The door to one of the spaceships opened and two short aliens walked over to a group of TV reporters. The alien said “People of Earth, thank you very much for selling us your planet, it is very nice and we are very happy you sold it to us for such a bargain. Our only question is when are you all leaving because we’d like to move in now.”

“WOW, those people I sold the Earth to yesterday were aliens! That is so cool!” Dan said excitedly. 

“Don’t be silly Dan, this doesn’t have anything to do with the game you were playing yesterday.” 

Then the doorbell rang. Dan’s brother answered the door and shouted, “MOM, DAD, THE MAYOR IS AT OUR DOOR, AND THE ARMY, AND TWO ALIENS! SHOULD I LET THEM IN?”

Dan walked to the front door with his Mom and Dad and said hello to the mayor, the army, and the two aliens. The Mayor spoke up, “Young man, these aliens are claiming that YOU sold them the Earth, is that true?”

“Yeah, they gave me this much money for it.” Dan said as he handed the mayor the stack of pink triangles with the picture of the octopus on them. 

The mayor looked at the money, and then at the aliens, and then said, “I’m very sorry about this but the Earth isn’t Dan’s to sell. The Earth, um, belongs to over seven billion people, I think what Dan meant to say is, that, uh, if you want it, it will cost forty dollars per person. Yes, that’s what he meant to say.”

The aliens looked at each other and then one of them said, “See now that makes more sense. I knew that forty dollars was too good to be true. Now, seven billion times forty dollars each is…” “More than we can afford for a summer home dear” replied the other alien. The aliens took back their forty dollars, and went back to their ships. 

After the mayor, and the army, and the aliens left, Dan’s parents told him he should probably go to his room.

“Why do I have to go to my room?” Dan asked. 

“Honey, you sold the Earth to aliens. I think that warrants a timeout.” His Mom replied. 

“Mom, when I tried to sell your makeup you yelled at me. When I tried to sell Dad’s tools, he yelled at me. When you guys saw me trying to sell the Earth you wished me good luck.” 

His parents looked at each other, and after a moment his Mom said, “You’re right Dan, we did say that didn’t we? Okay, can you promise us that you won’t try to sell the Earth again?” 

“Okay Mom, I promise I won’t try to sell the Earth again. Oh, and Mom, you don’t have to worry about me asking for that toy spaceship anymore, because now I know what I really want.”

“What’s that?” his Mom asked.

“I want one of THOSE!” Dan shouted, pointing at the alien spaceships taking off. 

“Maybe for your birthday.” Dan’s Mom said as they all walked back into the house.

 The End.